Men behaving...not badly
There's less of a ring to it, I know. I'm just so tired of the media coaxing women towards the negative side of their story in the conversations about "how they got to where they are" as if to imply it's all been hardship and harassment. Trust me, I have my own stories (death threats, physical harassment, vicious rumours, systemic discrimination, unwanted discussion on my fertility) but I'm profoundly saddened that we aren't spending an equal amount of time laying a blueprint for what sorts of behaviours are the ones that need to happen. Why aren't we pointing out our allies? Why aren't we selling newspapers on headlines about the leaders who quietly and consistently treat their employees on the basis of fairness?
I want to give a sincere round of applause for a man I worked for years ago that is the most principled and grounded human being I've ever met. This is a blueprint for what equal pay for equal work should look like…
It once took me 6 months to interview for, negotiate and earn a contract. When you're used to the types of jobs that come to your through a quick phone call providing a location to head towards, this is a big deal. It should be mentioned that I was in my early 20's at this point, and even being considered for a role of this kind had its own intrinsic value to me. So I wasn't exactly negotiating with the same rigor that I would today. Despite the lack of negotiating prowess at this phase in my life, I was a numbers person. I had an astute understanding of my earning potential, and what an hour of my time was worth.
As the interviews morphed into a negotiation I presented to the company my last few years' earnings (as a consultant it was always "eat what you kill" and I was hungry) and a projection for the upcoming year of contracts— either "in hand" or "likely to earn"— to show them that the salary being offered was a pay cut. The offer letter went through two rounds of edits and concessions (mainly on my end) before I finally accepted.
There are more than a few stories about all the BS and the total cluster fuck that this project ended up being, but we're here to talk dollars and cents. It was exactly five weeks into my contract that my manager began asking me very detailed questions about my business and what I charged for my work back home. With a quick mental currency conversion, I told him. He didn't seem surprised. He asked what the terms of my agreement were with this project, I told him. Keep in mind this is the nicest man in the world, he's not asking for the sake of holding it over my head, he is genuinely interested and I didn't understand why, nor did I question it.
A week later (six weeks into the contract) I'm called into his office. There's a letter on his desk. He informs me that he spoke with HR and had my salary adjusted. "Oh shit," were my first thoughts, "they think I'm overpaid for my age". To the contrary, he voiced his displeasure to HR that I was being underpaid by 25%. More than voice his displeasure, he MADE them correct it.
"In recognition of your individual efforts to date, we are happy to confirm an increase in your Total Fixed Remuneration". The number on the piece of paper was pretty much identical to what I had asked for originally. Turns out, this is what everyone else on the project was being paid.
Did I mention I was one of two female representatives out of about 60 at a similar level? Kind of bullshit when you think about it. Same credentials, same exact duties. No one else on the project was required to show their "exceptional individual efforts" in order to earn the appropriate paycheque.
My point here is that I never asked this manager to review my salary. While I was busy making him spreadsheets and doing my work with the Contractor he simply took it upon himself to do a little digging. Being that he was not a contracted employee, but a permanent representative of the owner company, he had a bit more clout than the average manager. He used it to do good.
Not one just one occasion, but repeatedly. Consistently.
He made sure that all of his team had cell phone packages that allowed us to call home (he is the ultimate family man and couldn't bear the thought of us being out of touch with loved ones). He made sure that we were being provided what we needed while working far from civilization. He tried to negotiate better terms for our travel and days off. He cared deeply for his people, and in doing so he created a loyal following without ever expressly asking us for anything in return. We just reciprocated his kindness by way of doing our best work because we felt cared for and understood. His behaviours brought to life all the elements of transformational leadership (which I only recently learned the word for). It's a blend of individualized consideration, idealized influence, inspirational motivation, and intellectual stimulation.
Why is this such an important behavioural blueprint in the movement towards equality?
Psychological well-being of employees, and attempts to improve or preserve it, have profound impacts on the social health of an organization. Simple concept here, but healthy organizations tend to do better. If you want to go deep on this, there is no better resource on the topic than Julian Barling. Julian is an expert in leadership science (with over 200 authored articles and books he is the exact opposite of those self-proclaimed leadership gurus that we all love to hate). Feel free to message me if I've got this wrong Julian, but I can sum up all the research (and the point of my article) into one simple question that should guide your behaviour in the workplace:
"What are the smallest things you can do to change someone's life?"
