Habits

This week I did a day trip to Grande Prairie on one of those small airplanes that make it impossible to open your laptop, so instead I picked up (and then devoured) a copy of Atomic Habits by James Clear. After crushing half the book that day, I enjoyed several epiphanies about why some of my previous goals hadn't made it across the finish line.

I could be considered overly fixated on goals, sure. Truthfully, I am totally obsessed with writing goals and checking them off, constantly looking for something to reach for. Thankfully, there is help for this ailment!

Atomic Habits lends some advice on the importance of crafting an identity, rather than a to do list. Reading this book, I now understand why I feel so low each time I've accomplished my biggest goals– I had a belief that reaching a goal brings me happiness. It doesn't. Instead, it is simply a cue to develop the next goal. On top of that, my own extreme discipline surrounding never allowing myself to “feel satisfied” for fear of becoming complacent, produced a string of years from 2012-2016 where I accomplished so much but felt almost nothing. Clear does a great job of emphasizing the shift that needs to occur for goal obsessed people like myself. Jump to the good stuff… Buy the book and see pages 20-30. I'm not here to plagiarize, so I'll share the specifics of my life instead.

For over 4 years I've been telling myself I want to be a writer, and that my block is that I am too shy about opening up about my experiences. Or that I am bound to some professional code of ethics that prevents me from getting into the details too much. But this is bullshit, I realized.

My problem is I'm a perfectionist. And with that, I haven't crafted the proper set of habits around my writing practice that will allow me to build the mass of content I need to one day differentiate from all the other blogs, advisors, etc. What I should be doing is:

• Focusing on who I wish to become (a writer, an entrepreneur, a person who gives more than they take)

• Shift my focus from being "disciplined" to being more cognoscente and creative about crafting behavioral patterns that support that identify (such as writing any and all content down the moment inspiration strikes)

• make the process rewarding so that it produces a greater likelihood of more of the same behavior in the future

If you are 1% better than the day before, every day for a year, you will end up 37 times better than you started.

The other major takeaway is the concept of incremental gains. If you are 1% better than you were the day before, every day for a year, you will end up 37 times better than you started. If you think about it, the very opposite of this mindset is what fuels a $72 B diet industry in the US ($7 B in Canada). This concept of incremental wins/gains/improvements is an antithesis to the sexy concept of overnight success stories.

The concept works in many different ways so long as the key thread is the consistent application. Weight loss is the number one resolution of North American’s, so we will use that example. An overweight woman (BMI 25-29.9) decides to reduce her body weight by 1% each month.

• She begins her journey at 178 lbs on her 5’7” frame:

  • -1.78 lbs month 1 = 176.2 lbs

  • -1.76 lbs month 2= 174.4 lbs

  • -1.74 lbs month 3 = 172.7 lbs

  • -1.73 lbs month 4= 171 lbs

  • -1.71 lbs month 5 = 169.3 lbs

  • -1.69 lbs month 6 = 167.6 lbs

  • -1.68 lbs month 7 = 165.9 lbs

  • -1.66 lbs month 8 = 164.2 lbs

  • -1.64 lbs month 9 = 162.6 lbs

  • -1.63 lbs month 10 = 161 lbs

  • -1.61 lbs month 11 = 159.4 lbs

  • -1.59 lbs month 12 = 157.8 lbs

The final result is a healthy BMI of 24.7 and a total loss of 20.2 lbs

This is now a BMI of 24.7 and is considered normal. Following a consistent 1% loss rule each month for a year yields a total loss of 20.2 lbs for this woman. Most people try to lose that in 2 months, fail, and then gain 5 as a result of the despair and confusion they feel about trying to manage their health.

Applying James Clear's framework to the above example, the woman would be more focused on crafting the beliefs and assumptions about her identify than fixating on "losing weight". If you compare the following two conversations you will see what I mean .

Friend: "Let's split the dessert"

Woman: "I'm trying to lose weight"

OR

Friend: "Let's split the dessert"

Woman: "I had a great dinner, enough to fuel up for today, so you go ahead".

Perhaps this sounds contrived when you read it but the shift from "trying" to simply "being" is a subtle but significant change. When you're “trying”, you are signalling to your brain that there are alternatives, which produces a crack in your resilience as the situation becomes a trial instead of pre-determined absolute.  I have done this to myself so many times. "I'm trying to drink less wine", "I'm trying to bake every weekend", "I'm trying to become more flexible", etc. The identity focus coupled with the habit cues in the book are a powerful way to shift these trials into absolutes through the use of layers of psychological conditioning.

So, when I say I "want" to be a writer, I'm really not doing myself any favours. From here on, "I'm sharing the stories and ideas I've accumulated thus far" while quietly continuing to gather new experiences and language to represent them.